I have heard a lot of “birth stories” (at the end of every pregnancy yoga class) and none of them seemed to express any sort of fear, shock or panic. All of them seemed to remember pain, but that everything they had learned and read about and listened to had helped them prepare for this “magical” time.
I was pretty certain that no amount of breathing or calming music was going to diminish the pain of two fully formed humans wriggling their way towards my woefully underprepared vagina…
When the bone crunching tiredness has taken over and you are seriously considering duct taping a dummy to the baby/babies (I definitely thought it was “duck”tape, but that makes no sense – why would ducks need tape?) the days roll into nights and it’s difficult to feel like you have achieved anything.
I have to remind myself that the biggest win is to keep them alive and ideally not leave them on a bus – bonus points for making it look like it was super easy and not remotely boring.
So, to make myself feel like I’ve been productive, here are the stats for a typical 24 hours: